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Question:
What is the ruling on a woman who does not obey her husband, and the case of
a husband who neglects the rights of his wife because she does not obey him?
Answer:
Seeking the help of Allah, Exalted be He, I say:
It is obligatory for a wife to obey her husband as long as he does not
command her to commit an act of disobedience to Allah, the Almighty. It is
the right of the husband on his wife that she gives him herself in intimate
relations and does not refrain from doing so. Moreover, she is obligated to
serve him well, and obey him if he asks her not to do a recommended act such
as fasting and traveling to perform Hajj that is not compulsory. In
addition, she should not leave his house without his permission, and
likewise she should not allow anyone to enter his house without his
permission. She is also obligated to preserve her chastity, and take care of
his children and property. Therefore, it is with greater reason that she
should obey her husband in matters that are legally obligatory.
However, a woman's obedience to her husband is conditional; she should only
do what Allah the Almighty has permitted, recommended or made obligatory.
However, if she is commanded to do a sin, she should not obey the one who
commanded her, whether it be her husband or anyone else. No creature is to
be obeyed in something that involves disobedience to the Creator.
Al-Bukhârî, Muslim and Abû Dâwûd, An-Nasâ’î and Ahmad related on the
authority of `Alî Ibn Abû Tâlib that the Prophet (peace be upon him) said,
"Obedience is only in good matters."
Therefore, a woman is obligated to obey her husband when he asks her to do
something that does not involve a sin, does not take her away from doing her
duty or if he prevents her from doing something detestable or forbidden. In
return for doing that, she is entitled to two great things: First, her
husband should rush to fulfill his duties towards her as well as the rights
that Allah the Almighty has ordained on him towards her. Allah, Exalted be
He States, "And due to the wives is similar to what is expected of them,
according to what is reasonable." [Al-Baqarah: 228)
Commenting on this verse, Ibn Kathîr (may Allah have mercy on him) said,
"Women are entitled to receive rights from men that are similar to the
duties that they owe to men. Hence, each one of them should give the other
his/her due right according to what is reasonable." Bahz Ibn Hakîm narrated
on the authority of Mu`âwiyah Ibn Haydah Al-Qushayrî from his father from
his grandfather, that he asked the Prophet (peace be upon him) saying, "O,
Messenger of Allah! What is the right due to the wife of one of us on him?"
He (peace be upon him) replied, "That you feed her when you eat, that you
bring her clothes when you bring clothes for yourself, and do not beat her
on her face, nor call her ugly, nor keep away from her except in the house."
In this regard, Ibn `Abbâs (may Allah be pleased with both of them) said, "I
like to beautify myself for my wife as I like her to beautify herself for
me. This is because Allah the Almighty Says, 'And due to the wives is
similar to what is expected of them, according to what is reasonable.'"
The second incentive is that she will obtain a great reward from Allah the
Almighty and will attain His Pleasure. Umm Salamah (may Allah be pleased
with her) narrated that Allah's Messenger (peace be upon him) said, "Any
woman who dies while her husband is pleased with her, will enter Paradise."
(Related by At-Tirmidhî, who judged it as hasan, and Al-Hâkim, who judged it
as sahîh (authentic).
Ahmad has also related in Al-Musnad on the authority of `Abdur-Rahmân Ibn
`Awf (may Allah be pleased with him) that Allah's Messenger (peace be upon
him) said, "If the woman prays the five daily prayers, fasts the month of
Ramadan, preserves her chastity and obeys her husband, it will be said to
her, 'Enter Paradise from any of the gates you wish." The same is related by
Ibn Hibbân in his authentic collection on the authority of Abû Hurayrah (may
Allah be pleased with him).
The meaning of the aforementioned hadîth – as pointed out by Imam Al-Manâwî
– is as follows: "If the woman prays the obligatory five daily prayers,
fasts the month of Ramadan except the days of her menses if any, preserves
her chastity, and obeys her husband without any disobedience, she will
surely enter Paradise. As well as this, she must not commit any of the grave
sins and she must sincerely repent to Allah the Almighty to have her sins
forgiven."
Accordingly both spouses are obligated to be mindful of Allah the Almighty
regarding the other, and be kind to each other. Both should do so seeking
the bountiful reward from Allah, the King, the Gift-Giver, on the Day when
there will not benefit [anyone] wealth or children but only the one who
comes to Allah the Almighty with a sound heart."
Success comes only from Allah the Almighty.
I ask Allah the Almighty to confer his peace and blessings upon His Prophet,
Muhammad, his household and all his Companions.
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